“I’m a 22-year old trans lesbian musician with borderline personality disorder, PTSD, ADHD, and autism and the reason why I mention all this is because these themes often appear in my music.”
This is how Nat Puff, the Seattle-based artist who records under the moniker Left at London, introduces herself in this interview with KEXP DJ Marco Collins. In the chat below, Puff dissects her track "Felt Like I Had Died" and details what discovery has looked like for her. Listen to their chat below and check out some highlights of their conversation.
Puff breaks down the lyrics in the verse, “I’ve been getting more distractions / Saw my past and guessed your actions / I’ve been stemming with the trigger of a gun.”
“That bridge specifically mentions something in terms of all four of my mental illnesses. ‘I’ve been getting more distractions’ is about ADHD. ‘Saw my past and guessed your actions’ — PTSD and BPD. ‘I’ve been stemming with a trigger of a gun.’ If you don’t know what stemming is, it’s something that happens to people in the autism spectrum where, for example, I will flap my hands and that’s stemming. It’s a repetitive action or motion that either feels good or calms you down.”
Puff also says the line, “I’ve been stemming with a trigger of a gun,” also references her multiple suicide attempts before she found recovery.
Puff says recovery was “hitting rock bottom and realizing that’s where I would stay if I didn’t do anything.” Puff also says she was admitted to a mental hospital. She says she’s so forthcoming about her struggles with mental illness to prove that those with mental illness can thrive and recovery is possible.
Puff also says she’s getting more and more comfortable in her own skin.
“My body feels like home for the first time in forever,” she says.
Left at London will be LIVE on KEXP this Wednesday, March 27th at 9:30 AM PT.
Sound & Vision airs Saturday mornings at 7 AM PST. Hosted by Emily Fox and John Richards, the show "uses interviews, artistry, commentary, insight, and conversation to that tell broader stories through music, and illustrate why music and art matter."